Ya-Ta! There's still hope for "Heroes"

"Heroes" was one of my favorite entertainment stories of last year, a great water cooler show that was actually worthy of all the hype. This year, I've been disappointed, to put it mildly. But just when it seemed like the show had succumbed to the dreaded "sophomore slump", "Heroes" finally has its swag back.

"Heroes" had been the biggest cocktease since Kim Kardashian during its second season, giving the viewer roughly five minutes of brilliance (and thus, hope) every episode and surrounding it with 35 minutes of filler. Just when it looked like they'd painted themselves into a corner, the brain trust behind Tim Kring's show is starting to make things interesting again.

I'm not going to review the last episode, other than to say it was great and went a long way in renewing my faith in this series. I'm just going to make some observations and predictions. Obviously, if you don't watch the show, this will all sound like gibberish.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS
-Either Parkman's dad isn't the bad mother (shut your mouth!) we thought he was, or Kensei is so powerful he can keep him under his thumb. Both are probably true. It looks like they're setting Parkman up to become really powerful; otherwise he couldn't have bested his supposedly unstoppable father Monday night.

-Speaking of Parkman, I'm getting really sick of that pansy. There are a few superfluous characters on "Heroes", but none annoy me as much as him. He's not a lovable loser; he's just a loser. He got punked by his wife. He got punked by the Fed chick he worked with in season one. He got punked by Angela Patrelli after trying to read her mind, and by his own father while trying to read his. Sylar nearly killed him because he was stupid and thought he could be the hero he always wanted to be. He even got sonned by little Mollie Mapquest, who probably likes Mohinder better anyway. If he couldn't read minds, he'd handing out speeding tickets, and even with this incredible power, he was thought of as a joke by every other cop. And if you get thrown through a window by the third female lead from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", you will always be a punk. His "My Two Dads" situation with Mohinder and Mollie shatters what writer Bill Simmons refers to as the Unintentional Comedy Scale. Their predicament is like a bad sitcom.

-The guy that plays Bob is a terrible actor. Just God-awful.

-Mohinder snitching on Claire's dad was even dumber than him bringing Mollie to the company.

-I heart Claire


FEARLESS PREDICTIONS
-Peter and Sylar get their grudge match, with amnesia'ed-out "Peter Bourne" working for Kensei without knowing better and Sylar fighting with the "good guys" on some Magneto shit. Sylar also won't kill the Honduran Wonder Twins, although he will really want to.

-Parkman's Dad, who my friends call "Fatty Krueger", will be back, but he really isn't as interesting now that all the build up is finished and we've been introduced to the guy.

-Hiro will be really depressed for quite awhile.

-Claire's flying Peeping Tom boyfriend will turn evil.

-Claire's dad gets murked by either Flying Boy or Mohinder (probably Flying Boy), but not before doing something reprehensible the others find out about.

-The Invisible Man from season 1 comes back

-Kristen Bell (forget the name of her character) is Kensei's daughter. She and Peter will have a showdown and there will be sexual tension for everyone.

-Sylar dies, possibly doing something heroic.

-Hiro will be the one to kill Kensei in the end.

-I like talking about this show way too much.