At an age when most St. Edward's University students are working on Capstone papers, Austin-based rapper and St. Ed's student Clark Perry is working on his fifth album in four years. Perry has recorded and performed everywhere from Los Angeles to Belgium, and opened for the likes of Hanson and Devin the Dude. With an unwavering work ethic, confident flow and witty lyrics, Perry just might turn Austin's barren hip hop scene into something worthwhile.
The fact that Clark Perry raps at all comes as a surprise to most people initially. He looks more like the front man of an indie rock band or an actor in a quirky comedy than an MC. He's soft-spoken and even a little nerdy, but carries himself with the swagger of an artist who knows he's good at what he does.
Despite his current confidence, even Perry admitted he would never have imagined himself rapping just a few years ago.
"I didn't listen to music for a long time," he said. "I didn't even own a CD player until I was 14."
Then, Perry heard Eminem and developed a passion for hip hop. Perry said he related to Eminem's identity as a white rapper.
"His sense of humor and in-your-face attitude played a part too," Perry said.
Perry jumped into music headfirst and put out his first album, "Watered Down", under the name "Greyt Whyte" in 2003. Selling mostly to his fellow students at Austin High School, Perry moved an estimated 1,000 copies of "Watered Down". His success gave him the confidence he needed to work to get better.
After recording two more albums, 2004's "Indecision" and 2005's "First Wave", Perry left the United States to study in Spain, a move that would advance his career and permanently change his life.
"I was so inspired by everything around me," he said. "I got to hang out with the most famous rap group in Belgium, roll with London rappers, German rappers, a Romanian producer. Everywhere I went I was hooking up with the local people."
Perry said meeting these people provided him with material for his latest effort, "Barcelona On Ice", an album that plays like a love letter to Europe. Perry worked on "Barcelona" with renowned European producer Smimooz, and addressed topics such as Europeans' negative attitude toward Americans.
"All of that made me a new breed of enlightened, multi-cultural party rapper," he said.
Perry is currently back in Austin and he said he is still struggling to make a name for himself in a city that calls itself "The Live Music Capital of the World", but has yet to truly make room for hip hop.
"I've been doing this a really long time, and still don't feel like I've gotten much attention," Perry said. "Bavu Blakes is probably the biggest rapper in Austin, and still, the average person doesn't know his name. I've never even been to ACL because it's not like there are many rap acts playing."
Perry is determined to break through to a wider audience, and despite being in a less than ideal locale for his type of music, he remains optimistic. He has recently started work on his fifth album, "Danger to Myself".
At only 22 years old, Perry has accomplished far more than many of Austin's other musicians and has the potential to go even further. Maybe he'll be the one to change the pecking order here and help this city escape from the shadow of Houston and make a name for itself in the world of rap. But even if he doesn't, hip hop has already taken Clark Perry exactly where he wants to be.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Swag of Scott (Baio)
Scott Baio is only known for two things: his role as the titular character on two crappy sitcoms, and his role as a player Frank Sinatra wouldn't have left his girlfriend alone with. Now, after falling off the face of the planet for years, Baio has mounted a comeback with a reality show mocking his Hollywood pimp image. I haven't seen the show, but I recognize the brilliance of the concept. Apparently, he just goes around dropping in on old girlfriends, apologizing for being a sleazeball and asking them what went wrong. Hilarity surely ensues.
Baio is the very definition of overachiever. Now, I am neither condemning nor condoning having meaningless "relationships" with an unhealthy amount of partners. But if that's how you choose to live your life, you could do worse than Pamela Lee, Nicole Eggert, Denise Richards, Natalie Raitano (criminally underrated), Nicollete Sheridan and Heather Locklear. He even hooked with Liza Minnelli, which I would liken to choosing Julius Erving for your pick-up basketball team. He may be 60, but he's still Dr. J! Amazingly, Baio got with these A-list celebrities with nothing on his resume but a slew of made-for-TV movies and roles as a babysitter and The Fonz's cousin (apparently, Fonzie put him up on game). Kevin Federline should have a shrine dedicated to the man in his house.
Baio is the subject of more urban legends than Keyzer Soze. The thing is, there are so many great true stories about him that I would have a hard time disbelieving anything I heard. In a recent interview with Howard Stern (Howard, that class act, asked Baio if he could sniff his fingers), Baio was asked to tell "the Playboy story". Turns out, during the late '80s, Baio was the first man to be banned from the Playboy Mansion for making Hugh Hefner jealous. Read that sentence again. If I got cockblocked by HUGH FREAKING HEFNER, my ego would get so big that my head would swell up like Joseph Merrick.
The legend of Scott Baio has grown; that much is evident with a google search. He's something like a cult figure now, and it makes sense. To call him an underdog would be misleading, but it's hard to believe that the one man Hugh Hefner was scared to even let near his girlfriend(s) was the guy who played the nanny on "Charles in Charge". It's like how every year during March Madness, some tiny school pulls off an upset victory, and everyone starts rooting for them. In other words, Scott Baio is the people's champion. The word "swag" gets thrown around an awful lot these days, but...
Baio is the very definition of overachiever. Now, I am neither condemning nor condoning having meaningless "relationships" with an unhealthy amount of partners. But if that's how you choose to live your life, you could do worse than Pamela Lee, Nicole Eggert, Denise Richards, Natalie Raitano (criminally underrated), Nicollete Sheridan and Heather Locklear. He even hooked with Liza Minnelli, which I would liken to choosing Julius Erving for your pick-up basketball team. He may be 60, but he's still Dr. J! Amazingly, Baio got with these A-list celebrities with nothing on his resume but a slew of made-for-TV movies and roles as a babysitter and The Fonz's cousin (apparently, Fonzie put him up on game). Kevin Federline should have a shrine dedicated to the man in his house.
Baio is the subject of more urban legends than Keyzer Soze. The thing is, there are so many great true stories about him that I would have a hard time disbelieving anything I heard. In a recent interview with Howard Stern (Howard, that class act, asked Baio if he could sniff his fingers), Baio was asked to tell "the Playboy story". Turns out, during the late '80s, Baio was the first man to be banned from the Playboy Mansion for making Hugh Hefner jealous. Read that sentence again. If I got cockblocked by HUGH FREAKING HEFNER, my ego would get so big that my head would swell up like Joseph Merrick.
The legend of Scott Baio has grown; that much is evident with a google search. He's something like a cult figure now, and it makes sense. To call him an underdog would be misleading, but it's hard to believe that the one man Hugh Hefner was scared to even let near his girlfriend(s) was the guy who played the nanny on "Charles in Charge". It's like how every year during March Madness, some tiny school pulls off an upset victory, and everyone starts rooting for them. In other words, Scott Baio is the people's champion. The word "swag" gets thrown around an awful lot these days, but...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Eulogizing Shaq
Growing up, Shaquille O'Neal was my idol. Every other kid on the playground wanted to be Michael Jordan or Penny Hardaway, the athletic mid-sized players who could dart through the lane like a ferrari and walk to the basket on air. Not me. I wanted to be the 300-pound guy who swatted shots into the bleachers and broke backboards with his dunks. After years of trying, Shaq finally won his first title in 2000 and I was so giddy you would've thought I was the one hoisting that championship trophy in front of 15,000 people. I'd been watching basketball for about 7 years, but it was the first time I had something to celebrate at the end of the season. I watched him pick up a few more titles and suffer some heartbreaking defeats after that, unwavering in my support. But after 16 years of dominace, it appears Shaq is finally starting to break down.
Watching Jordan or Hardaway play was like observing a great actor deliver a rousing monologue. You're wowed by the precision and confidence in their every action, wondering what they're going to do next. Shaq in his prime was more like a cyclone leveling a city block. He'd back his man down and spin with a quickness that was unfair to give a seven-footer. This was almost always followed by a ferocious dunk with defenders hanging on him like a football player. "Force of Nature" is a cliche, but it's entirely appropriate here. That's why watching him lately has been downright depressing, like Superman getting beat up by Gerry Cooney. He fumbles passes, blows dunks, gets beaten for rebounds by players half a foot shorter and plays with the demeanor of a guy in a prison rec game who knows he has to go back to his cell at the end.
It'd be great if he could get back to his previous form, but it seems nearly impossible at this point. Shaq had a notorious aversion to off-season conditioning even back when he was undisputedly the best player in the game. Now, by all accounts, he works much harder, but it's too little too late. His stamina is shot, and his athleticism has waned to the point of nonexistence. True, he's going through a messy divorce, which even his coach admits is probably distracting him, but all the recent articles about Shaq's decline haven't been written for nothing.
Even as a kid, I could appreciate what I was watching and know that I might not see a player like Shaq for decades. On and off the court, he was unique. The one-liners he'd crack in press conferences with that monotone delivery that made you unsure if he was kidding or not. The ridiculous nicknames he'd give himself ("The Big Aristotle" was my favorite). The crappy rap albums that I still bought. "Kazaam". Off the court, he was a goofy, overgrown kid, but put him in a basketball game and he'd be out for blood.
Hopefully I'll forget what looks to be the undignified end of Shaq's career and still get to keep my memories of his better days. I can pretend his career ended in 2006, with the Heat winning the NBA title. I've already accepted this is the end of the line for Shaq. Here's hoping he gets the memo and retires gracefully.
Watching Jordan or Hardaway play was like observing a great actor deliver a rousing monologue. You're wowed by the precision and confidence in their every action, wondering what they're going to do next. Shaq in his prime was more like a cyclone leveling a city block. He'd back his man down and spin with a quickness that was unfair to give a seven-footer. This was almost always followed by a ferocious dunk with defenders hanging on him like a football player. "Force of Nature" is a cliche, but it's entirely appropriate here. That's why watching him lately has been downright depressing, like Superman getting beat up by Gerry Cooney. He fumbles passes, blows dunks, gets beaten for rebounds by players half a foot shorter and plays with the demeanor of a guy in a prison rec game who knows he has to go back to his cell at the end.
It'd be great if he could get back to his previous form, but it seems nearly impossible at this point. Shaq had a notorious aversion to off-season conditioning even back when he was undisputedly the best player in the game. Now, by all accounts, he works much harder, but it's too little too late. His stamina is shot, and his athleticism has waned to the point of nonexistence. True, he's going through a messy divorce, which even his coach admits is probably distracting him, but all the recent articles about Shaq's decline haven't been written for nothing.
Even as a kid, I could appreciate what I was watching and know that I might not see a player like Shaq for decades. On and off the court, he was unique. The one-liners he'd crack in press conferences with that monotone delivery that made you unsure if he was kidding or not. The ridiculous nicknames he'd give himself ("The Big Aristotle" was my favorite). The crappy rap albums that I still bought. "Kazaam". Off the court, he was a goofy, overgrown kid, but put him in a basketball game and he'd be out for blood.
Hopefully I'll forget what looks to be the undignified end of Shaq's career and still get to keep my memories of his better days. I can pretend his career ended in 2006, with the Heat winning the NBA title. I've already accepted this is the end of the line for Shaq. Here's hoping he gets the memo and retires gracefully.
Another Post About Jay-Z: The "American Gangster" Soundtrack
It's easy to draw a parallel between rappers and athletes. They can both make millions for their abilities if they play their cards right, but their success is almost always the fleeting kind. For every Brett Favre or Rakim who defies Father Time, there are a dozen others who reach a certain age and seemingly lose their talents overnight. When Jay-Z put out his ninth album, "Kingdom Come", last year, many thought he had become a casualty of this phenomenon. Listening to the self-proclaimed "Mike Jordan of rap" was like watching Jordan during his last couple of years playing basketball, when he seemed determined to destroy his legacy by overstaying his welcome. "Kingdom Come" was a midlife crisis on CD; songs like "30's the New 20" (he's nearly 40) were downright embarrassing. Hip hop is a young man's game, and Jay was too far past his prime to stick around and try to compete. Right?
Well, apparently not. Listening to Jay's latest album, the soundtrack to Ridley Scott's new film "American Gangster", it sounds like his flow's been dipped in the fountain of youth. He undoubtedly saw the critical beating "Kingdom Come" took, and rather than merely telling us he's the best as he did on that album, on "American Gangster" he decides to show us instead.
Throughout the album, haunting strings and gorgeous vocal samples intermingle with slick basslines and gritty drums, creating a musical backdrop somewhere between Stax and Motown. As the soundtrack to a gangster movie set in 1970s Harlem, it couldn't be more appropriate. Improbably, these beats were birthed by the King of Banality himself, Puffy Combs, and his in-house production team. Some of them, like "American Dreamin", which samples Marvin Gaye's voice on the chorus, are so striking that they overpower the rapping. And that's quite an accomplishment, because "American Gangster" finds Jay back to his old self lyrically.
When he's in a zone, Jay's effortless mastery of his craft is, well, Jordanesque, and like Michael, he's able to turn every performance into an event. "Hey young world, wanna hear a story?/Close your eyes and you can pretend you're me", he suggests on the opening track, before weaving an enthralling tale about his upbringing. On "Fallin", he makes the tired point that nothing lasts forever, but his attention to detail makes you hear the song in first person; it's so vivid you feel like you're actually caught up in it. And "Success" finds Jay rapping alongside former rival Nas and besting the great MC.
Jay saves his best performance for the instant classic, "Ignorant Sh*t". Utilizing the same Isley Brothers sample his friend Biggie Smalls employed on "Big Poppa", Jay defends rap against the negative stereotypes people associate with it, while wryly admitting that uplifting messages rarely sell hip hop music. Out of hundreds of songs, it ranks as one of his best.
"American Gangster" deserves to be mentioned as one of the top ten albums of the year, in any genre. It revitalizes Jay's career, and puts his name back among rap's elite. Even if it's an aberration he will never top for the rest of his career, it stands as a towering accomplishment in the face of a slew of doubters.
Well, apparently not. Listening to Jay's latest album, the soundtrack to Ridley Scott's new film "American Gangster", it sounds like his flow's been dipped in the fountain of youth. He undoubtedly saw the critical beating "Kingdom Come" took, and rather than merely telling us he's the best as he did on that album, on "American Gangster" he decides to show us instead.
Throughout the album, haunting strings and gorgeous vocal samples intermingle with slick basslines and gritty drums, creating a musical backdrop somewhere between Stax and Motown. As the soundtrack to a gangster movie set in 1970s Harlem, it couldn't be more appropriate. Improbably, these beats were birthed by the King of Banality himself, Puffy Combs, and his in-house production team. Some of them, like "American Dreamin", which samples Marvin Gaye's voice on the chorus, are so striking that they overpower the rapping. And that's quite an accomplishment, because "American Gangster" finds Jay back to his old self lyrically.
When he's in a zone, Jay's effortless mastery of his craft is, well, Jordanesque, and like Michael, he's able to turn every performance into an event. "Hey young world, wanna hear a story?/Close your eyes and you can pretend you're me", he suggests on the opening track, before weaving an enthralling tale about his upbringing. On "Fallin", he makes the tired point that nothing lasts forever, but his attention to detail makes you hear the song in first person; it's so vivid you feel like you're actually caught up in it. And "Success" finds Jay rapping alongside former rival Nas and besting the great MC.
Jay saves his best performance for the instant classic, "Ignorant Sh*t". Utilizing the same Isley Brothers sample his friend Biggie Smalls employed on "Big Poppa", Jay defends rap against the negative stereotypes people associate with it, while wryly admitting that uplifting messages rarely sell hip hop music. Out of hundreds of songs, it ranks as one of his best.
"American Gangster" deserves to be mentioned as one of the top ten albums of the year, in any genre. It revitalizes Jay's career, and puts his name back among rap's elite. Even if it's an aberration he will never top for the rest of his career, it stands as a towering accomplishment in the face of a slew of doubters.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The Sounds of Silence: Silence of the Lambs
Watching scary movies around Halloween is as American as baseball or obesity. I still remember being about 11 and watching "The Exorcist" at my friend Carleton's Halloween party, which was in September, for some reason. Around the point where Linda Blair is telling the priest that his mother sucks cocks in hell, Carleton's dad emerged from the darkness like a phantom, wearing a disgusting rubber mask. Naturally, we screamed our little preteen heads off. But even though he put the fear of God (fear of the devil?) into me, Carleton's dad had helped me reach a rite of passage. I started to like getting scared around Halloween.
The movie I keep coming back to in late October is something people will be watching around Halloween long after movies like "Saw" are collecting dust in bargain bins. I'm speaking of "Silence of the Lambs", a movie that isn't really a horror film. What it is is a profoundly disturbing thriller that invites queasiness into your stomach even as it leaves you wanting more.
Obviously, the main draw of "Silence of the Lambs" is Anthony Hopkins. In the '80s, another movie adaptation of one of Thomas Harris's series of novels about Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter featured Brian Cox in what would become Hopkins's signature role. But while Cox was menacingly cool, Hopkins's Lecter is theatrical and aggressive. It's clear why Hannibal Lecter became an icon after "Silence of the Lambs"; it's impossible to take your eyes off him while he's on screen.
Without taking away from the merits of underrated director Jonathan Demme, screenwriter Ted Tally or cinematographer Tak Fujimoto (check out his lighting during the scenes in Buffalo Bill's dungeon), "Silence" is ultimately successful because of the three lead performances. Of course, Hopkins is incredible as Lecter, but much has been said about Jodie Foster in the role of Clarice Starling as well. She's able to play tough and driven while displaying a lack of confidence underneath, making Starling more complex than the average movie Fed or cop. The forgotten man is Ted Levine, who actually comes close to stealing the show from Hopkins as the deranged "Buffalo Bill".
Levine's performance is the most fearless one I've ever seen; he savors his self-disgust, doing acts that must be terrifying to perform in front of a camera. You'd feel compassion for him, if he wasn't dancing around naked in garish, drag queen makeup, while a young woman is trapped in his homemade dungeon. The slightest thing, like how he smirks at Foster when she pulls her gun, or when he tugs on his shirt mimicking the screams of his hostage, can make your skin crawl. Levine was so good at being creepy that he became forever typecast. He doesn't get too many acting roles today, because no one can see him on screen without thinking of shimmying in the dark with his package out, whispering, "would you [blank] me?" to no one in particular.
With "Silence of the Lambs", Demme shows an incredible ability to ratchet up suspense. The scene where the police look for Lecter in a prison air vent is grab-your-armrest material. The climactic confrontation between Starling and Buffalo Bill, with its voyeuristic point-of-view camera work and eerie, green lighting, is even more exciting.
The pieces fit together to create an experience that almost goes beyond merely seeing a movie. Silence of the Lambs evokes fear, exhilaration and most of all, the sense that you're watching something people will love being spooked by for generations to come.
The movie I keep coming back to in late October is something people will be watching around Halloween long after movies like "Saw" are collecting dust in bargain bins. I'm speaking of "Silence of the Lambs", a movie that isn't really a horror film. What it is is a profoundly disturbing thriller that invites queasiness into your stomach even as it leaves you wanting more.
Obviously, the main draw of "Silence of the Lambs" is Anthony Hopkins. In the '80s, another movie adaptation of one of Thomas Harris's series of novels about Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter featured Brian Cox in what would become Hopkins's signature role. But while Cox was menacingly cool, Hopkins's Lecter is theatrical and aggressive. It's clear why Hannibal Lecter became an icon after "Silence of the Lambs"; it's impossible to take your eyes off him while he's on screen.
Without taking away from the merits of underrated director Jonathan Demme, screenwriter Ted Tally or cinematographer Tak Fujimoto (check out his lighting during the scenes in Buffalo Bill's dungeon), "Silence" is ultimately successful because of the three lead performances. Of course, Hopkins is incredible as Lecter, but much has been said about Jodie Foster in the role of Clarice Starling as well. She's able to play tough and driven while displaying a lack of confidence underneath, making Starling more complex than the average movie Fed or cop. The forgotten man is Ted Levine, who actually comes close to stealing the show from Hopkins as the deranged "Buffalo Bill".
Levine's performance is the most fearless one I've ever seen; he savors his self-disgust, doing acts that must be terrifying to perform in front of a camera. You'd feel compassion for him, if he wasn't dancing around naked in garish, drag queen makeup, while a young woman is trapped in his homemade dungeon. The slightest thing, like how he smirks at Foster when she pulls her gun, or when he tugs on his shirt mimicking the screams of his hostage, can make your skin crawl. Levine was so good at being creepy that he became forever typecast. He doesn't get too many acting roles today, because no one can see him on screen without thinking of shimmying in the dark with his package out, whispering, "would you [blank] me?" to no one in particular.
With "Silence of the Lambs", Demme shows an incredible ability to ratchet up suspense. The scene where the police look for Lecter in a prison air vent is grab-your-armrest material. The climactic confrontation between Starling and Buffalo Bill, with its voyeuristic point-of-view camera work and eerie, green lighting, is even more exciting.
The pieces fit together to create an experience that almost goes beyond merely seeing a movie. Silence of the Lambs evokes fear, exhilaration and most of all, the sense that you're watching something people will love being spooked by for generations to come.
Ya-Ta! There's still hope for "Heroes"
"Heroes" was one of my favorite entertainment stories of last year, a great water cooler show that was actually worthy of all the hype. This year, I've been disappointed, to put it mildly. But just when it seemed like the show had succumbed to the dreaded "sophomore slump", "Heroes" finally has its swag back.
"Heroes" had been the biggest cocktease since Kim Kardashian during its second season, giving the viewer roughly five minutes of brilliance (and thus, hope) every episode and surrounding it with 35 minutes of filler. Just when it looked like they'd painted themselves into a corner, the brain trust behind Tim Kring's show is starting to make things interesting again.
I'm not going to review the last episode, other than to say it was great and went a long way in renewing my faith in this series. I'm just going to make some observations and predictions. Obviously, if you don't watch the show, this will all sound like gibberish.
RANDOM OBSERVATIONS
-Either Parkman's dad isn't the bad mother (shut your mouth!) we thought he was, or Kensei is so powerful he can keep him under his thumb. Both are probably true. It looks like they're setting Parkman up to become really powerful; otherwise he couldn't have bested his supposedly unstoppable father Monday night.
-Speaking of Parkman, I'm getting really sick of that pansy. There are a few superfluous characters on "Heroes", but none annoy me as much as him. He's not a lovable loser; he's just a loser. He got punked by his wife. He got punked by the Fed chick he worked with in season one. He got punked by Angela Patrelli after trying to read her mind, and by his own father while trying to read his. Sylar nearly killed him because he was stupid and thought he could be the hero he always wanted to be. He even got sonned by little Mollie Mapquest, who probably likes Mohinder better anyway. If he couldn't read minds, he'd handing out speeding tickets, and even with this incredible power, he was thought of as a joke by every other cop. And if you get thrown through a window by the third female lead from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", you will always be a punk. His "My Two Dads" situation with Mohinder and Mollie shatters what writer Bill Simmons refers to as the Unintentional Comedy Scale. Their predicament is like a bad sitcom.
-The guy that plays Bob is a terrible actor. Just God-awful.
-Mohinder snitching on Claire's dad was even dumber than him bringing Mollie to the company.
-I heart Claire
FEARLESS PREDICTIONS
-Peter and Sylar get their grudge match, with amnesia'ed-out "Peter Bourne" working for Kensei without knowing better and Sylar fighting with the "good guys" on some Magneto shit. Sylar also won't kill the Honduran Wonder Twins, although he will really want to.
-Parkman's Dad, who my friends call "Fatty Krueger", will be back, but he really isn't as interesting now that all the build up is finished and we've been introduced to the guy.
-Hiro will be really depressed for quite awhile.
-Claire's flying Peeping Tom boyfriend will turn evil.
-Claire's dad gets murked by either Flying Boy or Mohinder (probably Flying Boy), but not before doing something reprehensible the others find out about.
-The Invisible Man from season 1 comes back
-Kristen Bell (forget the name of her character) is Kensei's daughter. She and Peter will have a showdown and there will be sexual tension for everyone.
-Sylar dies, possibly doing something heroic.
-Hiro will be the one to kill Kensei in the end.
-I like talking about this show way too much.
"Heroes" had been the biggest cocktease since Kim Kardashian during its second season, giving the viewer roughly five minutes of brilliance (and thus, hope) every episode and surrounding it with 35 minutes of filler. Just when it looked like they'd painted themselves into a corner, the brain trust behind Tim Kring's show is starting to make things interesting again.
I'm not going to review the last episode, other than to say it was great and went a long way in renewing my faith in this series. I'm just going to make some observations and predictions. Obviously, if you don't watch the show, this will all sound like gibberish.
RANDOM OBSERVATIONS
-Either Parkman's dad isn't the bad mother (shut your mouth!) we thought he was, or Kensei is so powerful he can keep him under his thumb. Both are probably true. It looks like they're setting Parkman up to become really powerful; otherwise he couldn't have bested his supposedly unstoppable father Monday night.
-Speaking of Parkman, I'm getting really sick of that pansy. There are a few superfluous characters on "Heroes", but none annoy me as much as him. He's not a lovable loser; he's just a loser. He got punked by his wife. He got punked by the Fed chick he worked with in season one. He got punked by Angela Patrelli after trying to read her mind, and by his own father while trying to read his. Sylar nearly killed him because he was stupid and thought he could be the hero he always wanted to be. He even got sonned by little Mollie Mapquest, who probably likes Mohinder better anyway. If he couldn't read minds, he'd handing out speeding tickets, and even with this incredible power, he was thought of as a joke by every other cop. And if you get thrown through a window by the third female lead from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", you will always be a punk. His "My Two Dads" situation with Mohinder and Mollie shatters what writer Bill Simmons refers to as the Unintentional Comedy Scale. Their predicament is like a bad sitcom.
-The guy that plays Bob is a terrible actor. Just God-awful.
-Mohinder snitching on Claire's dad was even dumber than him bringing Mollie to the company.
-I heart Claire
FEARLESS PREDICTIONS
-Peter and Sylar get their grudge match, with amnesia'ed-out "Peter Bourne" working for Kensei without knowing better and Sylar fighting with the "good guys" on some Magneto shit. Sylar also won't kill the Honduran Wonder Twins, although he will really want to.
-Parkman's Dad, who my friends call "Fatty Krueger", will be back, but he really isn't as interesting now that all the build up is finished and we've been introduced to the guy.
-Hiro will be really depressed for quite awhile.
-Claire's flying Peeping Tom boyfriend will turn evil.
-Claire's dad gets murked by either Flying Boy or Mohinder (probably Flying Boy), but not before doing something reprehensible the others find out about.
-The Invisible Man from season 1 comes back
-Kristen Bell (forget the name of her character) is Kensei's daughter. She and Peter will have a showdown and there will be sexual tension for everyone.
-Sylar dies, possibly doing something heroic.
-Hiro will be the one to kill Kensei in the end.
-I like talking about this show way too much.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Feeling the Heat
The NBA season tipped off a couple of days ago, which meant a fresh start for my Miami Heat. The Heat struggled just to make the playoffs last year and were unceremoniously eliminated in the first round by the Chicago Bulls. Widespread changes were called for, but other than lose three key players from last year's team (Jason Kapono, James Posey and Eddie Jones), the only moves Miami made were to acquire documented head cases Ricky Davis, Smush Parker and Mark Blount, all of whom have talent, although they possess the collective maturity of Larry David. With the season underway and the Heat having limped to an 0-3 start, I thought now would be a good time to take a look at what's going wrong and well in Miami.
The Bad
-With our star Dwyane Wade injured, the Heat are incapable of winning close games. Miami can keep pace until the final minutes, but then opponents pull away. The once-great Shaquille O'Neal is rendered impotent at the end of games due to his poor free throw shooting and the fact that his frequent foul trouble often keeps him off the court. This leaves Davis to be Miami's primary scorer toward the end of games, which is a problem because he tends to get too excited in pressure situations and take bad shots or turn over the ball.
-The Heats scorers run hot and cold. Shaq is still capable of exploding on occasion, but he's lost a lot of quickness, he can't maintain a high energy level, and he struggles with fouls. Davis, Smush, Jason Williams and Udonis Haslem are all capable of making it rain from the perimeter, but they're either on fire or missing every shot they take; there's no medium.
-We have absolutely no point guard depth. Smush Parker must be even more of an idiot than I thought to already be out of the rotation 3 games into the season, especially when the only alternative is Chris Quinn. The under-talented Quinn may end up playing a lot of minutes, particularly due to the fragile health of starter Jason Williams. Step your game up, Smush.
-With Wade's extended absence, the team may go through some rough patches, and that could put them in the position of having to fight just to make it to the playoffs when he gets back.
The Good
-Rookie Daquean Cook looks like he might be able to make an impact this season. Everyone knew he could shoot the lights out, but the consensus was that he was too raw to contribute this season. It's good seeing him get minutes, because coach Pat Riley really needs to have confidence in a rookie to give him a shot.
-Young Dorrell Wright is finally starting to make use of some of his potential. After a horrendous preseason, I was ready to give up on him, but Wright has been solid so far and could get much better. He's athletic, can rebound and has the makings of a good defender, which means he could be very valuable to the Heat.
-Former All-Star Penny Hardaway, who'd been out of the league two years and was widely considered washed up, has had his moments so far. Seeing as how he was a long shot to even make the team, this has to come as a positive.
-Once Wade comes back, the team is better tenfold. Not only is he a great player, he makes everyone else on the Heat raise their levels of play as well. The attention he draws from defenders frees up teammates, getting them open shots. He also fills the role of the fourth-quarter scorer Miami needs.
Miami will definitely struggle until Wade returns from his injury and works his way back into shape, but the good news is, if Wade plays as well as he had the previous two years, Miami instantly becomes a title contender. I'm intrigued to see how my team does over the course of the season.
By the way, expect a lot of basketball posts from now on.
The Bad
-With our star Dwyane Wade injured, the Heat are incapable of winning close games. Miami can keep pace until the final minutes, but then opponents pull away. The once-great Shaquille O'Neal is rendered impotent at the end of games due to his poor free throw shooting and the fact that his frequent foul trouble often keeps him off the court. This leaves Davis to be Miami's primary scorer toward the end of games, which is a problem because he tends to get too excited in pressure situations and take bad shots or turn over the ball.
-The Heats scorers run hot and cold. Shaq is still capable of exploding on occasion, but he's lost a lot of quickness, he can't maintain a high energy level, and he struggles with fouls. Davis, Smush, Jason Williams and Udonis Haslem are all capable of making it rain from the perimeter, but they're either on fire or missing every shot they take; there's no medium.
-We have absolutely no point guard depth. Smush Parker must be even more of an idiot than I thought to already be out of the rotation 3 games into the season, especially when the only alternative is Chris Quinn. The under-talented Quinn may end up playing a lot of minutes, particularly due to the fragile health of starter Jason Williams. Step your game up, Smush.
-With Wade's extended absence, the team may go through some rough patches, and that could put them in the position of having to fight just to make it to the playoffs when he gets back.
The Good
-Rookie Daquean Cook looks like he might be able to make an impact this season. Everyone knew he could shoot the lights out, but the consensus was that he was too raw to contribute this season. It's good seeing him get minutes, because coach Pat Riley really needs to have confidence in a rookie to give him a shot.
-Young Dorrell Wright is finally starting to make use of some of his potential. After a horrendous preseason, I was ready to give up on him, but Wright has been solid so far and could get much better. He's athletic, can rebound and has the makings of a good defender, which means he could be very valuable to the Heat.
-Former All-Star Penny Hardaway, who'd been out of the league two years and was widely considered washed up, has had his moments so far. Seeing as how he was a long shot to even make the team, this has to come as a positive.
-Once Wade comes back, the team is better tenfold. Not only is he a great player, he makes everyone else on the Heat raise their levels of play as well. The attention he draws from defenders frees up teammates, getting them open shots. He also fills the role of the fourth-quarter scorer Miami needs.
Miami will definitely struggle until Wade returns from his injury and works his way back into shape, but the good news is, if Wade plays as well as he had the previous two years, Miami instantly becomes a title contender. I'm intrigued to see how my team does over the course of the season.
By the way, expect a lot of basketball posts from now on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)