The University of Hip Hop

(Don't waste your time reading to this if you don't listen to a lot of rap. Seriously.)

Years from now, when Russell Simmonds creates The University of Hip Hop (and Dame Dash founds the first Hip Hop Community College), aspiring musicians will come running to get the training they need to survive in a cutthroat industry. There would be all the expected courses about hip hop culture and history, song writing, B-Boying, DJ'ing and so on, but there are also opportunities to have classes covering more specific areas of expertise. Other courses could include:

-Accurately Quoting Drug Prices in Song (with Professor T.I.)
-Teaching Yourself to Sound Like an Ig'nant Thug Ass Headbussa When You Have a Masters Degree (with Professor David Banner and guest lecturer Plies)
-Adlibbing 101 (with Professor Young Jeezy) "THAAAASSS RIIIIGGGHHTTT!"
-Breaking into George Clinton's House to Steal Clothes (with Professor Andre Benjamin)
-Whining About the Same F*cking Girl Over and Over (with Professor Slug)
-Rapping About Oral Sex (with Professor Lil Kim)
-The Art of the Publicity Stunt (with Professor 50 Cent)


In addition to the wide array of courses they offer, The University of Hip Hop would attract a who’s who of big name guest speakers:

Sean “Puffy” Combs will give a detailed business plan for using your legendary dead best-friend rapper’s memory to sell records.

Jay-Z will give a lecture on why it’s a bad idea to piss off Nas.

And, before midterms, Method Man and Redman will host a seminar on remembering your lyrics when you’re high.

If there is a God, I will be around to see this university open its doors.